Quick tomato soup–because the baby is STARVING, right?

July 27, 2015

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I’ve been in the mountains in North Carolina for 2 weeks, and have basically binged every night. Everyone in my family can cook, and we have all taken turns trying to fatten the others up. Basically, we all want the other sisters to get fat so that we can take our turn basking in the light that is the most attractive sister title. Since I am 35+ weeks pregnant, clearly I don’t give a sh*t about that title. I just want to grub and sleep. The fam went out to dinner the other night, and as much fun as being the sober one is, I let others take that title and be the DD for the night, and I settled in for a solo dinner at home and a “Married to Medicine” marathon. #teamQuad

I wanted a grilled cheese and ketchup, but the ketchup in the farm fridge was several years expired, so I had to find an acidic alternative. Cue the easy “homemade” tomato soup. You most likely have all three ingredients in your fridge already, so easy! Sidenote: I don’t actually like tomato soup, I just use it as a dip for my grilled cheese. So I think this is a good soup, but it could totally suck as a non dip. Either way, I don’t really care since I’ve already eaten it.

 

  • 1/2 C. tomato sauce (I used Rao’s tomato basil, but if you’re poor and have to use Ragu, just don’t tell anyone).
  • 1/2 C. chicken broth (use low sodium–you don’t need to swell any more than you already do)
  • 1 tsp. heavy cream or milk

Mix everything together and microwave for 2 minutes. Voila. I have nothing funny or creative left to say–the he/she/it that has hijacked my body and is currently using my lungs and belly as a punching bag has exhausted me, and it’s time for snack #4 of my day.

Nut-less Banana Muffins since I’m already crazy

May 30, 2015
up close and personal

up close and personal

To me, there is nothing better than banana bread. In fact, last week I made some and ate the entire top of the loaf in two days. Gross. It’s so bad for you, and I can only use this whole knocked up excuse every so often. The most scrumptious b-bread has straight up sugar, butter and white flour, but I’d like to not break the scales at my next appointment (plus I’m pretty sure Crawdad can see the scale during my weigh-ins), I decided to find/create a healthier version. Not going to lie, they are pretty delish and easy. I kept them sans-nuts, clearly there’s been plenty of those in my life… SORRY MOM.

  • 2  cups mashed overripe bananas (about 4-5 medium)
  • 1 large egg
  • 1/3 cup nonfat Greek yogurt
  • 2 tbs. coconut oil
  • 1/4 mashed avocado (I’m sure you could use more, but I just threw this in b/c I had it leftover from a salad)
  • 1/3 cup light brown sugar
  • 1/4 cup maple syrup
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1 1/2 cups wheat flour (buy the white-wheat flour at the store)
  • this makes about 48 muffins

Heat oven to 350. In a small bowl, combine the last 4 ingredients and set aside. In a bigger bowl, mash up the bananas and then add in the egg and whisk until combined. Add in the yogurt, oil and avocado and mix, and then add in the sugar, syrup and vanilla and mix. Fold in the dry ingredients until well mixed. Pour into greased mini muffin tins (or papered tins) and bake for 20-25 minutes–until a toothpick can be removed without any goo! These little guys are addicting. Give away most of them before you become a chubby blogger snacking on her third mini muff while browsing pulled pork recipes at home alone on a Saturday….

bmuffsAlso—word to the wise, don’t try the batter before baking. The alien that is using my belly as its home has robbed me of all my intelligence, and I took a spoonful to try for quality control. Check on me in an hour and make sure I haven’t peaced out.

 

JK, I’ll be fine. My favorite food is unpasteurized cheese and this nugget seems to enjoy it just fine.

 

when a food baby becomes a real baby. #gourmetbaby gets closer to hatching….

May 28, 2015

Well. It happened. I’m no athlete, but apparently my husband was a swimmer in a past life and passed his athleticism on to his lil guys and managed to knock me up. Yikes. After my initial nervousness and trepidation (I waited two days to tell him I was pregnant because I was so shocked), I broke the news. He was pumped, I was hungry. Fast forward 27 weeks and I’m now almost 7 months pregnant, and incredibly excited to meet whatever nugget I’m baking. It’s been named Crawbaby, and honestly I’m considering keeping that as its name once it hatches—choosing names is too hard. At the beginning of my pregnancy I puked up anything I ate (helllllooooo diet!), so I wasn’t keen on cooking. Currently, I’m large, in charge, and back to my normal routine. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t gotten a spicy chicken sandy from Chickfila and fries from Taco Villa all at once. I might only do this baby thing once, and damnit, I will order what I want. If you live in a town with Taco V., I highly recommend subbing their curly fries as a side to any sandwich from another restaurant. You won’t regret it. While with child, I recommend being as indecisive as possible when communicating with your spouse. It leads to better snacks. Example: I texted Crawdad and told him I was craving butterfinger ice cream (which doesn’t exist as far as I know), and that he could get it at Walgreens. False. I also texted him a photos of butterfinger cups, a frosty, a mcflurry and an ice cream cone, and told him to be creative and not F it up. He came home with this….

complete victory on all accounts

complete victory on all accounts

That. Is. My. Baby. Daddy. Father of my spawn, apple of my eye. Didn’t even ask if he could have any. Clearly didn’t scarf it all in one sitting, but I def ate all the butterfinger cups within 24 hours….

I’ve been super busy trying to work as much as possible before this nugget hatches, so I haven’t been great about posting, but I will have several recipes posted in the next few days….

  • Turkey Meatball Subs
  • Grilled Veggie Platter with a Greek yogurt/lemon butter dipping sauce
  • Crispy Shrimp Flautas
  • Garlic Chicken Burgers

All are relatively easy, with the exception of the flautas. They are scary as shit to make because they require holding tongs into hot oil. I learned the hard way about having oil too hot…got popped in the eye with grease and cried real human tears. Unfortunately, I am no longer the semi-feelingless robot that I used to be. I cry at basically everything, from a Folgers commercial to my husband telling me he doesn’t want to go to an early morning dentist appointment. I recommend just not talking to me at all if you want to avoid making me cry. Or you could just tell me I’m pretty and funny. I’d probably also be so happy to hear that compliment that I would bawl. I’m just batshit crazy, so avoid me completely. Being knocked up isn’t all bad though, I have a friend (who I consider an angel), who randomly does “Donut Drops,” wherein she leaves a bag of donuts on my doorstep. So far, she has dropped them off in the snow and torrential rain, and I think she is the greatest person in the world. If you’ve never had a glazed twisty from T&T in Midland, you are missing out. That is all I have for now, and I’ve got to bounce—I’m getting new carpet installed because I didn’t like the way my old carpet looked with the crib, so it just seemed natural to replace the whole room’s carpet. And I wrecked my car backing into a wall. And we just got a new water heater. And also, having a kid is expensive. So basically I am cashless cow making my husband bleed money. But I am housing his spawn and I feed him, so I feel like we are pretty basically even. Right?