I am literally sitting in front of the TV with my laptop trying not to throw up. Is there anything worse beside male hormone commercials? I’m currently watching a commercial for Axiron (the sick ass testosterone loaded deodorant for men), and grossed out by them filming a dad taking his daughter to college. Like how sicked out would you be if your pops got a boner while he was unloading your freshman year wardrobe. BARF. Side note—Cialis totally has it wrong—if you took an ED pill, wouldn’t you be in the same bathtub as your significant other? I guess old people do it differently? I’m confused.

ANYWAYS. I sat down to give y’all two super easy recipes that I made today. I a bunch of veggies in the fridge that won’t be good after the weekend, and we have a bday party tomorrow, so I’m donesky with cooking for the week after tonight. The things I have are….

• Avocado
• Grape tomatoes
• Cilantro
• Basil
• Arugula
• Garlic
• Mozzarella-block not shreds
• Poblanos
• Jalapeños (from my garden that I picked b/c they were ripe)
• Red bell peppers (also from my garden)

So, we are making a pasta salad that actually gets better after a day, and a roasted poblano avocado salsa.

For the pasta, get a big bowl and put about ¼ cup of olive oil at the bottom, as well as 1 cup of black olives with some of the juice. I don’t like olives very much, but the olives in this give a ton of flavor and are easy to avoid. Add in 3 cloves of minced garlic, sliced grape tomatoes, chopped basil and chopped arugula. Cube up some mozzarella cheese-cut it yourself, don’t use shreds—it makes a difference. Add in whatever cooked pasta you want. For this one, I used quinoa pasta because I’ve had it in my pantry for a while. It tastes fine, but really the best is just good ole’ fashioned white penne. Salt and pepper to taste. I make this at night, and then serve with salad or sandys for lunch the next day.

For the roasted poblano salsa but the following in your blender—3 jalapeños (2 without seeds, 1 with seeds), juice of 1 lime, 3 cloves garlic, ¼ cup chopped green onion, 2 avocados, and 3 roasted poblanos. Add a generous amount of salt. I would start with about 2 tbs of olive oil and ¼ cup of water as well. Blend it all together. If you want it thinner, add water and blend until you have the consistency you want.

That’s it for tonight. And now the Erectile Dysfunction commercial with the grown man wearing a baseball jersey is on. Here’s a hint, buddy. Stop dressing like a little leaguer and maybe your wife will take off her mock turtleneck. I just don’t understand old people.