Category Archives: Fat Kid Style

That time UT beat OU….oh, and fair food

Well, shit. Last weekend (TX/OU) kicked my ass, almost as hard as we kicked OU’s ass. BOOM. Anyways, it was a great weekend full of blackouts, bad decisions, and quite a bit of airbrushed t-shirts. I’ll recap my weekend quickly, and fill you in on the fat deets as I go….

Thursday night—Abacus. My favorite fancy restaurant in Dallas. The bread basket will give you the biggest bread boner of your life, and be sure not to miss out on the sushi. Get the VIP Roll and the pressed sushi-and don’t forget extra wasabi. Abacus also makes a mean martini, so get a little liquid base going with one of these before you stuff your fat face with the bread basket. Just to review, the contents of the bread basket are as follows: Lavosh (this girl lives for a crispy Jewish cracker—it’ my fave of the bunch), corn muffins, regular bread, and a tomato topped focaccia. I bet you just had to change your pants—it’s ok, clearly I don’t judge. I got the duck special, minus the five spiced sweet potatoes (because ew), and it was incredible. Crawford got venison that came with grits, bacon and some sort of caramel popcorn—it was unbelievable, and by the end of the dinner, I had consumed enough wine, that I finished my plate and his. Had I been sober, maybe I’d be ashamed, but shit, we’ve been together for 6 years and the man watched me eat two pizzas in one sitting on our honeymoon, so whatever. Friday was awful, I actually had to go into an office for work, so I ended up picking up Qdoba tortilla soup for lunch, which is delightful every time.

 

Chopin martini, splash of grapefruit

Chopin martini, splash of grapefruit

 

No caption necessary.

No caption necessary.

 

pressed sushi and vip roll

pressed sushi and vip roll

 

Seared Duck Breast

Seared Duck Breast

 

Venison

Venison

 

Saturday= the fair. I went big and bold at the start and had the Fried Cuban and one seventeen miller lights. The Cuban was delish, but so rich that I only had a bite. By 10:30am, I thought it was 3pm, so I mosyed up to the shortest line and got a hot dog. I watched some of the game, but snuck out a little before half time, because it was imperative that I chow down on a sausage on a stick and get an airbrushed shirt. Missions Accoplished. After that, I think I was done with food, but this b*tch really wanted a funnel cake. I didn’t get one, but next year….next year.

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I’ll work on recipes tonight, but just wanted to make sure all 4 people that read this blog got an update.

 

MAZEL

PS-How does one go from pic 1 to pic 2 in less than 24 hours?

YIKES

YIKES

Places I’ve Been + Midland Moments

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Well sh*t. I officially went to Chili’s on a Friday night. After having a casual binge drinking outing on Friday afternoon with some girls, our husbands decided they would pass on joining us for dinner, leaving us on our own to figure out where we would stumble to. Cut to us walking across the parking lot to Chili’s, where there was a line out the door of Midland’s finest singles and more Rascal scooters than I care to see. We walk in, and knowing that the wait would be well over 2 hours, I decide to tell a little lie (shocker). I walked up to the hostess and told her I had put myself on the list and gave her my name and phone number. She couldn’t find it, and apologized. I was a sweet girl, and told her not to worry–I’d “called” 40 minutes ago, she could just add me to the list. Boom. That ended up not making a difference, since we sat in the bar anyways. After politely declining a drink from a gentleman with a tattoo sleeve and knock off Ed Hardy shirt, I joined the ladies at our table. I kid you not–I ordered a cosmo, and was served Tequila and Cranberry juice and almost puked. I asked the waitress for a cosmo with vodka, and she went to go grab it, but had to turn around and take my martini glass from me–they were fresh out. Score. Well, a round of skillet queso, a triple dipper and some soft pretzel later, we were ready to roll out. Literally, roll. I was so full I almost had to snatch a rascal ride back the the car. And guess what? Chili’s DID. NOT. SUCK. I hate myself for loving it.

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On an unrelated note, I bought my dog a Tommy Bahama shirt. photo 4

AND…. When I wen to H-E-B, there was literally no one there. If you live in Midland, you know how incredible this is. I was in Fatty Heaven (and tried all the samples).

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Bomb.com Mac ‘n’ Cheese

Make this today. Regret it tomorrow. Who cares?  So, when we were growing up, we didn’t have mashed potatoes and gravy with our turkey at Thanksgiving, we had mac n cheese. Up until about 10 years ago, my grandmommy would make it for all special occasions, and it was always the best. Well, 3 weeks ago, she passed away, and after her memorial we all talked about special grandmommy moments, and of course, being chubby mcfatso, my memory was of mac n cheese. When we were kids we boycotted it one year because someone told us there was mustard in it. Mustard is gross, and we were thinking ballpark mustard style mustard, so most of us passed on the mac. Now I realize that mustard was in fact her secret ingredient—but it was dried mustard powder, and it rocks. I now regret skipping out on the mac n cheese that year, and pretty sure I made up for what I missed after I made this recipe.

  • 1 box cavatappi—these are grown up squiggles and are,  in general, a badass noddle
  • 1 quart milk
  • 6 tbs butter
  • 1/2 cup AP Flour
  •  3 Cups grated      gruyere cheese (a lot of times this is marketed as fondue cheese)
  • 3 cups other cheese—I used 1.5 of white cheddar and 1.5      sharp 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • 1 tsp. Ground mustard
  • ½ Cup shredded Colby jack cheese (for topping)
  • Dash of shredded parmesan.(For topping)

 

Cook your pasta according to the box instructions, subtracting one minute. Drain the pasta, but don’t rinse it. While you’re cooking the squiggles, heat your milk in a small sauce pan but just get it hot enough to melt things, do not boil it. If you boil it, you lose, and the cheese will taste gross. In another pan (a larger one) melt 6 tablespoons of butter. This is what makes mac n cheese so ungodly delicious—making a roux. Once the butter has melted, add the flour slowly, whisking with one hand while you pour the flour with the other. Cook over low heat for 2 minutes, stirring the whole time. While you’re whisking, add the hot milk with a ladle, a little at a time and cook for about 2-3 minutes,  until you have a sort of thick white sauce (gross). Turn the heat off and add all your cheese (except the toppings) and the mustard powder and some salt and pepper to taste . Once it’s all melty and gooey, add in the noodles and mix. Pour into a glass baking dish (greased with PAM), and sprinkle the last two cheeses on top. Put in a 350 degree oven til it’s all crunchy and delicious looking.

After adding in the noodles

After adding in the noodles

This takes a bit of time, but making the cheese sauce like this is totally worth it. Don’t be so lazy—consider the standing and whisking time part of your workout.

Close up of the delicious-ness

Close up of the delicious-ness