Category Archives: Snacks

Salsa (and Sav-B) Saturdays

Weird Orange, Poblano and Normal

Weird Orange, Poblano and Normal

Saturday in West Texas was beautiful. It was the kind of day that should be spent entirely outdoors, from breakfast to dinner. So what did I do in this weather? Laid in bed hungover lamenting the fact that my husband was golfing while my head was throbbing. After my petite pity party, I texted a fellow abandoned wife, and it was decided that we would drink white wine on the patio and eat chips and salsa. So off I went to the store, to buy all the stuff for salsa, and a six pack of Sav. B. I’m pretty sure the salsas were good, but honestly, I cannot guarantee. What I do know is that don’t challenge two ladies to drink as much white wine as they can before the sun goes down…it’s a challenge we will win lose.

Roasted Poblano Salsa

  • 3 roasted poblano peppers
  • 3 jalapeños, 2 without seeds
  • 2 Serrano peppers
  • 1 bunch cilantro
  • 1 large avocado
  • ½ large white onion
  • 2 cloves of garlic
  • 1 tsp. salt
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 3 tomatillos, boiled in water for 8 minutes until soft
  • ½ c to 1 c. water

Literally just toss everything into a blender with ½ c water to start. Add more water to thin out as necessary. This stays good for 2-3 days and makes a ton.

 

Weird Orange Salsa

  • 6 tomatoes, quartered
  • 10 chili de arbol, rehydrated (soak in hot water for an hour) these chilis are usually found in the Mexican aisle where all the “Fiesta” brand spices are
  • 1 white onion, quartered
  • 4 cloves of garlic
  • 2 tbs. powdered chicken broth (warning, this has MSG, so if you are anti MSG, which technically we all should be, find a brand that doesn’t have it.)

Sautee all the ingredients except for the chicken broth until tender. About 10 minutes. Add to a blender and add the chicken broth and blend until smooth. This is awkwardly orange. Also—I would never have known that the secret ingredient was powdered chicken broth unless Megan told me.

 

Regular-ish Salsa

  • 1 can rotel
  • 2 small tomatoes
  • 2 cloves garlic
  • 1 small onion
  • 1 bunch cilantro
  • Juice of 1 lime

 

Blend everything together. Surely by now you get the jist. Salsa is easy. Just blend shit together and try it with chips.

Apparently these all go well with 100$ worth of Mr. Gattis. I recommend a slice of hamburger pizza dipped in ranch, then dipped in green salsa. #newlow

 

Whole Wheat Banana Muffins with Greek Yogurt/Almond Butter Frosting

So Yummy

So Yummy

Sometimes I reach for a banana and realize that it is not my preferred color for a ripe yellow one, rather it looks like ugly brown banana shaped…… fingers (what—what did you think I was going to say…..?) So, what to do with your doodoo brown nanners? Make my new recipe! My dog ate at least two of these, or so I am going to tell my husband…

 

He looks guilty, right?

He looks guilty, right?

Whole wheat banana muffins with almond butter “icing”

  • 3 overripe smashed bananas
  • ½ c. sugar
  • 5 tbs. melted butter
  • ½ tsp. cinnamon
  • 1 egg, beaten slightly
  • ½ tsp. vanilla
  • 1 ¼ c. wheat flour
  • 1 tsp. baking soda
  • 1 tsp. baking powder
  • ½ tsp salt
  • ¼ c. almond butter (for icing)
  • ½ c. nonfat greek yogurt (for icing)

In one bowl, combine the last 4 ingredients and mix. In another mix up the first 6. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and mix well, but by hand with a soft spatula…don’t overwork it. Pipe in to mini muffin tins. Bake on 250 for about 20-30 minutes, testing after 20 with a toothpick. While they are baking, mix ¼ c. almond butter and ½ c. non fat greek yogurt together to make an icing. To be honest, my plain greek yogurt smelled so bad when I opened it that I threw up a tad in my sink, but I had a little Chobani 100 cherry flavor, so I used that. It actually is delicious. Once the muffins have cooled, pipe the icing on top (ice only ones you will eat, then  put the remaining icing in the fridge. I sprinkled mine with a little bit of blueberry flax granola for some crunch.

this b*tch is crazy.

this b*tch is crazy.

Baked Kale Chips

Baby girl feels like a baby whale right about meow. Between Valentine’s wine and the small binge-fest of wine and carbs last night, I can barely fit into my XXXL pjs. But, this b*tch needs a snack, and it’s either veggies or leftover chicken. Well, the chicken smells weird, so kale it is. I didn’t feel like a salad, so I decided to bake up some kale chips. Super easy, but they do take a while to bake, since I did them on 175 degrees.

kale

  • 1 head of kale, roughly chopped and stalk removed
  • 1 tbs olive oil
  • 1 tsp crushed red pepper
  • 1tsp garlic salt

Pour olive oil over kale and make sure it all has a little on it. Sprinkle seasonings. Bake on 175 for 45 minutes then flip/mix around the kale, and bake for another 45 minutes. These are actually pretty satisfying and make you feel like less of a fatty. Especially since I currently have homemade sesame seed buns rising for my gourmet chicken sandies tonight. Boom, fatty out.