Category Archives: Breakfast/Brunch

Eggs in Purgatory


So basically my husband has told me he is going to leave me if I serve him roasted chicken with broccoli one more time. Is it bad that I’m tempted to go on a roasted chicken and veggie binge and make every version of the bird possible? I kid. I’m pretty sick of it too. So, in an attempt to stay married, I am making eggs all week long for dinner per Crawdad’s request. We can worry about our cholesterol when we are dead.

Last weekend we went out to Currie Ranch, and managed to make it home with 2 dozen farm eggs, which are seriously so much more legit than any other eggs. Plus, they are free and I am poor, so they automatically taste better. When it comes to B4D, I usually go Mexican, and this dish is pretty Mexi, but tonight I am going Italian with a whole wheat carbonara, so stay tuned.

This dish is sh*t your pants spicy, so I wasn’t super interested in it, but Crawdad loved it. Which is great. And gross. All at the same time. There was a lot of sweat involved while eating this, which isn’t super atypical at our house (MEAT SWEATS, Sunday Pizza Sweats, etc.), but this was more than usual. I believe a second shower was taken. I ate chips and queso for dinner, so I was just fine. If you want it to be less spicy, use half the can of chipotles, and just plain diced tomatoes. It is called “Eggs in Purgatory”, but “Eggs from Hell” is more accurate.


For the red sauce:

  • 1 small can chipotles in adobo
  • 1 can fire roasted diced tomatoes with chilis
  • 1 can crushed tomatoes (or 1 cup of leftover marinara sauce if you have any in your fridge)
  • 3 cloves garlic
  • 1/3 C. water

Blend everything together and bring to a low boil in a shallow pan. Once the sauce is bubbling, drop in desired amount of eggs. Cover and cook for 8 minutes, or until the egg whites have set. Drizzle with the avocado/jalapeño sauce and top with sliced avocado. Best served with warm tortillas or French bread. It really is super simple.


For the Jalapeño avocado sauce, blend 3 seeded jalapeños, ½ an avocado, ½ c. water, 2 cloves of garlic and some salt and pepper together. Also good as a salsa.


biscuits & baby. nay, gravy

light brunch for two

light brunch for two

I almost had my baby in a parking lot.

My sweet husband thought it was a good idea to take a picture of me, mid-contraction, on a bench outside of the hospital. That happened several times on the way from the car to the room....

My sweet husband thought it was a good idea to take a picture of me, mid-contraction, on a bench outside of the hospital. That happened several times on the way from the car to the room….

Or at least that’s what we will tell our sweet girl in 15 years. Turns out, I don’t understand what contractions feel like, and am a total dumbass. Either that, or I just wanted to have three square meals before I checked into the hospital. I probably should have gone to the hospital 10 hours before I actually got there, but an hour and a half after I checked in, we had a beautiful baby girl who has stolen my attention span and yearning to cook for the past five weeks. She’s my new obsession and I’ve taken over 1200 photos of pretty much the same thing and think they are just the cutest. I’m SO annoying now. It has taken me almost two hours to write this post because I’ve picked the baby up fifteen times because I thought she needed to burp. Or was having a bad dream. Or wanted to pet the dog. Or just wanted to love on me. Whatever, I am a baby person now, get over it. But I know I still love my dog, still love to cook, and still love my husband.  All in pretty much that same order. (Jk?). But seriously, my dog is the best.

he guards the babe at all times

he guards the babe at all times


Anyways, the day before I hatched our baby, I decided a breakfast feast was the way to go. It was going to be our last Sunday as a family of 3 (yes, my dog counts as a human), and a lazy fat Sunday needed to happen. And it did…. Homemade piggies, sausage gravy, soft scrambled eggs, sausage, and fruit (for picture purposes only) graced the menu. I used canned biscuits b/c I didn’t have enough flour to make a full batch of biscuits from scratch, but the gravy is really the best part, so that should be the most important. If you aren’t 9 months pregnant and don’t have an excuse to eat for two, I guess you could use low-fat ingredients or eat less, but I recommend using exactly what I used…I won’t judge.

Breakfast before Baby

Breakfast before Baby

  • 1 lb spicy breakfast sausage
  • ½ C. flour
  • 3 tsp. black pepper—it’s better if you freshly grind it. It’ll burn calories
  • ½ tsp. onion powder (leave out if you don’t like onions)
  • ½ tsp salt—add more if needed
  • 5 cups whole milk

In a cast iron pan, cook the breakfast sausage, breaking it up into desired size. I like to break it up into little tiny pieces so that there is sausage in every bite. Once the sausage gets close to fully cooked, add in half of the flour and stir to coat the sausage, stirring/cooking for 30 or so seconds and then add in the rest of the flour. Once the sausage absorbs the flour, add in the milk and onion powder and whisk/stir to combine. Simmer the gravy for 10ish minutes until it becomes a gravy-ish thick consistency. Ew, that sounds gross. Add in the salt and pepper and taste it. If it needs more salt, add it. If it’s too thick, add more milk. Don’t be an idiot. If you want a badass biscuit recipe, use this one: because Paula Deen is one b*tch who isn’t messing around with biscuits. Or diabetes. Or anyone who isn’t white. Basically Paula Deen is a racist diabetic, but damnit if she doesn’t have some good recipes. She even created Deep Fried Chocolate Pound Cake and something called “Is It Really Better Than Sex? Cake.”  Vomit. The thought of Paula Deen getting dirty… not something I should’ve put in your head? Ok fine, imagine childbirth. Not sure which is worse?


Wait, yes I do. CHILDBIRTH

Only nugget yummier than chick-fila's

Only nugget yummier than chick-fila’s

So now, I am about to bid farewell to the angel that has been helping us with sweet E for the past few weeks and hopefully will start cooking more and writing more, so stay tuned… My four-legged assistant seems to be quite the babysitter, so maybe I can leave the babe at home with her brother and write more restaurant reviews? TBD…. Warning, the rest is of this is just cute pics of my little hot pocket. Stop reading if you hate babies (which is where I would’ve stopped reading five weeks ago to be totally honest).

little cute at one hour

little cute at one hour

little cutie at one month

little cutie at one month


To be totally honest, I never really know which one of them farted...

To be totally honest, I never really know which one of them farted…

Nut-less Banana Muffins since I’m already crazy

up close and personal

up close and personal

To me, there is nothing better than banana bread. In fact, last week I made some and ate the entire top of the loaf in two days. Gross. It’s so bad for you, and I can only use this whole knocked up excuse every so often. The most scrumptious b-bread has straight up sugar, butter and white flour, but I’d like to not break the scales at my next appointment (plus I’m pretty sure Crawdad can see the scale during my weigh-ins), I decided to find/create a healthier version. Not going to lie, they are pretty delish and easy. I kept them sans-nuts, clearly there’s been plenty of those in my life… SORRY MOM.

  • 2  cups mashed overripe bananas (about 4-5 medium)
  • 1 large egg
  • 1/3 cup nonfat Greek yogurt
  • 2 tbs. coconut oil
  • 1/4 mashed avocado (I’m sure you could use more, but I just threw this in b/c I had it leftover from a salad)
  • 1/3 cup light brown sugar
  • 1/4 cup maple syrup
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1 1/2 cups wheat flour (buy the white-wheat flour at the store)
  • this makes about 48 muffins

Heat oven to 350. In a small bowl, combine the last 4 ingredients and set aside. In a bigger bowl, mash up the bananas and then add in the egg and whisk until combined. Add in the yogurt, oil and avocado and mix, and then add in the sugar, syrup and vanilla and mix. Fold in the dry ingredients until well mixed. Pour into greased mini muffin tins (or papered tins) and bake for 20-25 minutes–until a toothpick can be removed without any goo! These little guys are addicting. Give away most of them before you become a chubby blogger snacking on her third mini muff while browsing pulled pork recipes at home alone on a Saturday….

bmuffsAlso—word to the wise, don’t try the batter before baking. The alien that is using my belly as its home has robbed me of all my intelligence, and I took a spoonful to try for quality control. Check on me in an hour and make sure I haven’t peaced out.


JK, I’ll be fine. My favorite food is unpasteurized cheese and this nugget seems to enjoy it just fine.